This moment, where you are already running late and get stuck in a traffic jam - just to feel the rage and anger rise up from your solar plexus and exploding out at whomever is next to you. This moment, where every text message to answer is one too much. This moment, where you shatter a plate and 'for no reason' burst out in tears. This is emotional overwhelm. We've all been there. I am here to provide you with guidance on how to navigate your emotions, so you can experience your emotions like soft ocean waves rhytmically kissing the sandy shore.
The main reason for women experiencing emotional overwhelm - where everything is too much, anger, sadness and tears get mixed up and not rarely taken out on someone else - is a general disconnect from their feminine energy, especially their innate yearning for being.
When women are to consumed with all the doing, they neglect their feminine nature and their deep need to be. Getting up early to catch the Morning Yoga Flow, making sure to look perfect for the office, pushing through, achieving, squeezing a Tinder date in for lunch, more working for that promotion, being late but going to the HIIT training anyways, followed by drinks with their friends. Wow. Just by writing this, I got exhausted.
Yet, I know this very well. Just five years ago, this was me. One of the moments that became engraved in my memory, was when I spent a whole day doing physical work for a animal sanctuary I did back then, feeling total tired and worn out, but said yes to a date I actually didn't want to go, had to change clothes in my car, banging my knee in the car while doing so, crying out in pain, tears flowing down my cheeks. I didn't get what I was doing back then. Now I know: I was rushing through life, avoiding feeling and basically myself.
The feminine is rooted in being. The simplicity of being deeply rooted in the body, the present moment, the self.
You get in conflict with your feminine nature when you don't have time to be. This has a huge impact on your well-being in general, but particularly on your overall emotional health and balance. Imagine what happens to a regular gas car if you suddenly fuel it with diesel? It dies. The same happens if you as a feminine essence being neglect your feminine nature and run on a masculine auto-pilot.
So, what can you do to navigate emotional overwhelm differently? Here are my five favorite steps for you to try out:
1 ☾ Slow down
There is no chance to feel if you keep on rushing through your life. Rushing = overwhelming in itself. Declutter your agenda. Say no to anything that doesn't feel aligned. Schedule dedicated me time. Observe your speed: how do you walk? how do you talk? how do you eat? Slow.it.all.down.
2 ☾ Learn to be
The feminine is rooted in being. In her body, in the moment, in the present, in pleasure, in the self. The moment we simply 'are', is the moment we return home to ourselves. We check in. We switch our attention from the outside to the inside. In being we can tend to our inner landscape. The beauty of being is that when we simply are - no over-analyzing, rationalziing, thinking - we get to feel our emotions as they are, flowing through our system freely.
Did you know that emotions stay only around 90 seconds in our bodies? So this means, honey, when you feel stuck with a feeling it is actually you - probably your mind - who has her perfectly manicured nails gripped thightly around it. Wild, right? So, being is the thing. How do you be? You start with taking time each day to simply be: Lie on the floor, feel yourself being supported; enjoy your favorite cacao without any distractions; wander through the forest, no aim; stand out in the rain and simply breathe. In a world where doing is the default, being is a practice. But it will get much easier in time, I promise you.
3 ☾ Create a safe space aka masculine & feminine magic
Women need to have a safe, strongly held space to feel safe to feel their feelings. The feminine yearns for the masculine to create this space. And the masculine is within you, too. If you didnt allow yourself to feel for a very long time, you need to start building trust in yourself. Trust, that you can hold yourself. This is why channeling your inner masculine to set a safe space is non-negotiable. Ways to do this: Set a timer for 5 minutes, create a playlist for 10 minutes, follow specific journaling questions. I always advise women not to get into emotional release and alchemy practice for more than 20mins. In the beginning, 5 minutes of feeling your feelings is enough.
We also want to keep the intention in the back of our minds: Feeling the unwanted emotion, letting it move through us and out. Even if you don't feel like you were able to release it all, move on to something else. Everything else is cultivating trauma.
4 ☾ Know your tools
My favorite practice for emotional balance is breastmassage. Your breasts are the extension of your heart - and the gateway to all your emotions. I teach this in Feminine Heart, which opens its doors 17 September. I also love embodied movement (for the basics take The Embodied Woman Masterclass), intentional journaling, Tantric breathwork and emotional release practices as hitting a pillow.
5 ☾ Pleasure!
The antidote to frustation and sadness is joy and pleasure. Why focus on the shitty shit all the time? The more you expand your capactiy to feel pleasure, the lower your tolerance for the hurtful. Learning to dance with shadow and light at the same time can be an incredibly pleasureable, orgasmic experience. This is another reason why I love breastmassage so much!
I am so excited to soon be opening the doors to Feminine Heart again - a 31 live online course to unlock your sweet feminine heart. Doors will open 1 September, we start with the next New Moon on 17 September. Before we start, I invite you to learn more about emotional balance upcoming Monday, 31 August at 5pm in an Instagram Live with me.